An Overwhelming Glossary of Mommy Message Board Lingo

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From: Jezebel <email@jezebel.com>
Date: Mon, Apr 9, 2012 at 3:00 PM
Subject: An Overwhelming Glossary of Mommy Message Board Lingo
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April 9th, 2012Top Story

An Overwhelming Glossary of Mommy Message Board Lingo

By Tracie Egan Morrissey

An Overwhelming Glossary of Mommy Message Board Lingo"I'm an FTM with DS and I'm actually NAK right now. My DH and I are NTNP, but my HPT gave me a BFN and I was wondering if this has to do with EBF." Huh? This is how people communicate on pregnancy, parenting and TTC (trying to conceive) message boards. While internet conversations are typically riddled with acronyms, shorthand and emoticons, mommy message boards have a language all their own that's not exclusive to any one forum or site, but rather is universally understood by online breeders. With these communities multiplying faster than Gremlins in the rain, the phenomenon can't be ignored. But can it be understood? We do our best to crack the code.

There's basically a message board community to cater to every type of parent out there: Christian parents; diabetic parents; working at home parents. The Bump is to pregnancy what The Knot is to weddings. What to Expect message boards are a catchall for women familiar with the popular books (What to Expect When You're Expecting and What to Expect the First Year) who don't know where else to go. Scary Mommy is good for the irreverent and YouBeMom is a great resource for mothers who want to be completely honest about anything — be it pediatricians, Real Housewives, strollers, or sex toys — without getting the virtual side-eye from judgmental types in more mainstream forums. The many different TTC (trying to conceive) boards across the internet are no doubt comforting for its participants with fertility issues. But there are also geographically-based Yahoo Groups (like the oft-discussed Park Slope Parents) for mothers and fathers looking to connect with others in their respective neighborhoods. And while PSP gets a lot of flack for its flame wars, eye-roll inducing preciousness and "over-parenting," for the most part, these mommy message boards are used by people looking to feel a little less confused and a little less alone. Sure, there are the people who enter into these forums strictly to brag about their children or their own parenting prowess — but they're also obviously fulfilling a need that's not being met in their real lives, however annoying that might be for others.

I was never a participant of message boards while childless and this didn't change with the birth of my daughter. But I do tend to lurk every now and then. It's a good way to gauge how well your baby is doing hitting his or her developmental milestones. And these forums can provide tips and answers to the kinds of questions that aren't really important enough to ask the pediatrician, and that you'd rather hear from real parents and not books. Do all babies like the tags on their toys better than the actual toy? How do you deal with unsolicited advice from a mother-in-law? What kind of spoon is best to introduce solids? While never adding to a conversation, I've found some of the forums really helpful, particularly the stroller discussions on UrbanBaby, which helped me shop for the right fit for my lifestyle, which includes traveling on the subway and living in a fourth-floor walk up.

But Christ if they aren't difficult to understand. As someone whose job it is to be on the internet, I thought that I was pretty proficient in shorthand. That is, until I visited these mommy message boards. First of all, some acronyms that are already well-established in other venues mean a completely different thing in parenting forums, like FTM. It doesn't mean Female to Male transsexual, but rather, First Time Mom. It's confusing terms like this that make understanding postings through simple reading comprehension kind of impossible. So here, we present an alphabetized glossary, to assist you in wading through the murky waters of mommy message boards.

AC - Assisted conception
AI - Artificial insemination
AIH - Artificial insemination with husband's sperm
AIO - All-in-one; this means you don't need a separate cover over the diaper, as in a disposable diaper
AP - Attachment parenting; a child rearing philosophy
ART - Assisted reproductive technology
BBT - Basal body temperature
BC - Birth control
BD - Baby dancing (sex for conception)
BF - Breastfeeding
BFN - Big fat negative (as in a pregnancy test)
BW - Blood week (period)
CC - Controlled crying; a method of sleep training for infants
CD - Cloth diaper
CIO - Cry it out; a method of sleep training for infants
CM - Cervical mucus
CVSs - Chorionic villus sampling; a form of prenatal diagnosis to determine chromosomal or genetic disorders
DA - Dairy allergy
DD - Dear daughter
DF - Dear fiance
DH - Dear husband
DI - Donor insemination
DPO - Days past ovulation
DS - Dear son
DSD - Dear step daughter
DSS - Dear step son
DTD - Do the deed (sex)
DXP - Dear ex partner, for people who are still on good terms with their exes
EBF - Exclusively breastfeeding
EBM - Expressed breast milk
EDD - Estimated date of delivery (due date)
EN - Extended nursing
EP - Ectopic pregnancy
ER - Egg retrival
ET - Embryo transfer
FF - Formula feeding
FS - Food stamps
FTM - First time mom
GD - Gestational diabetes
GF - Gluten-free
HPT - Home pregnancy test
IUI - Intrauterine insemination
IVF - In vitro fertilization
LAM - Lactational amennorhea method; referring to natural infertility while breastfeeding
LO - Little one
LP - Luteal phase
MC - Miscarriage
MIL - Mother-in-law
MS - Morning sickness
NAK - Nursing at keyboard
NFP - Natural family planning; or the rhythm method
NIP - Nursing in public
NTNP - Not trying/not preventing
O - Ovulation
OH - Other half
OPK - Ovulation predictor test kit
OWT - Old wives tale
PG - Pregnant
POAS - Pee on a stick
POF - Premature ovarian failure
SAHM - Stay at home mom
SB - Still birth
SW - Starting weight
TTC - Trying to conceive
US - Ultrasound
VBAC - Vaginal birth after cesarean
WAHM - Work at home mom
WOHM - Work out of home mom
WM - Working mom

Iby Jason Stitt/Shutterstock.

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I HUGGED A PANDA!!!

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The good news is that:

1) I did not get mauled as some of you (ahem) may have believed.
2) I did not get arrested for trying to bear-nap panda cub.
3) I did not get arrested (and possibly shot on sight) for attempting
to hug additional panda by hopping into their enclosures (tempting as
it was...the wall was quite low).

The bad news is that:

1) I didn't get to skoosh one for very long :( I thought I'd get at
least a few minutes, it was more like 30 seconds and 4 photos. In
hindsight, however, I think that pandas (being that they're kind of
anti-social) probably prefer this.
2) I can adopt my own panda for a lifetime for ONLY $68,000. Fundraiser time?

Do Not Call Registry

REMEMBER:  Cell Phone Numbers Go Public this month.
     REMINDER.....   all cell phone numbers are being released  to telemarketing companies and you will start to  receive sales calls..

.... YOU WILL BE  CHARGED FOR THESE CALLS

To prevent this, call  the following number from your cell phone:     888-382-1222.
It  is the National DO NOT CALL list. It will only  take a minute of your time... It blocks your  number for five (5)  years. You  must call from the cell phone number you want to  have blocked. You  cannot call from a different phone  number.

HELP OTHERS BY PASSING THIS  ON .. It takes about  2 seconds. 

(Thanks Kat)   

Awkward Family Photos (via @dmackdaddy)

Hilarious!


 

Happy Holidays...

Image001

No, I don’t think he will develop "mother" issues, do you?
 
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Inferiority complex in the making…  
 
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Obviously if he woke her up she’d try to escape  
 
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Wearing the same earrings is where he drew the line. Everyone has their standards
 
Image005

Suzy would have never known there was tension if it hadn’t been for the burning sensations coming from both sides of her head.
 
Image006

Mom and Dad love was infectious...everywhere. (look in background)
 
 
Image007

Everyone has a guardian angel...but they aren’t usually that much taller than you, *Pat or Pat?
 
 
Image008

Some girls would have been devastated that there prom was being held at KFC...these girls embraced it.
 
Image009

Do you think this bowtie is too loud with this shirt?
 
 
Image010

We are lawyers you can trust. Look.... we like kitties.
 
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Sometimes when you're happy and you know it, you don’t need to clap your hands.
 
Image002

Well, she wouldn’t have cried if you hadn't sat her on the lap of a deranged
cracked out bunny missing an ear!

 
 
Image013

This young man dressed up as the elderly version of Smoky the Bear
 
Image004

It should be noted that cooking is dangerous and should be done with bellies and chest hairs covered. Thanks
 
Image005

FDLS????  MORMON??? 


Image016

I love my sister. I .....love....her...so....friggin....much
 
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No coming out necessary for this guy!
 
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You guys might have a gun but I have TWO cats! Now what Suckas??


Image019

Sara finally had something to smile about.


Image020

Its so great that everyone could make it to graduation, even Cousin Derek, came in from Steroid rehab.
 
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They never understood why Kevin always felt left out.
 
Image002

Every girl should have a dream...even on her period
 
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No, No, I don’t think the stump is too much at all....
 
 
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What’s a champion without his umbrella?
 
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At least he was wearing a seatbelt...
 
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Jazz Hands!
 
 
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Who needs pacifiers when you have these?
 
 

 

 


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Black Friday / Cyber Monday / Christmas Sales

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One good polar bear story... (thanks JB)

Check out Dealio for online coupons and deals

A forward from my friend JB.  I think my heart just exploded.

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Polar Bear: I come in Peace
 
 

Norbert Rosing's striking images of a wild polar bear
 coming upon tethered sled dogs in the 

wilds of Canada's Hudson Bay. 
 



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The
 photographer was sure that he was going to see the end of his dogs when the
polar bear wandered in.
 

  

  

  

  

 

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It's hard to
believe that this polar bear only needed to hug someone!
 


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The Polar Bear
returned every night that week to play with the dogs.

Thanks @johnz_place for directing me to the video.  Even cuter, if that's possible!